Yeah, that is my least favourite excuse parents or adults make.
After every move, Diplomats will cryptically discuss their kids and the difficulties they have adjusting to their new surroundings, each parent will then nod and say “Don’t worry, kids are resilient.”
As a kid who not only heard this line, but also bought into it thinking that I was supposed to be more resilient, I feel parents and psychologists bounce this around without thinking that kids may not be as resilient as adults want to think they are.
A theory, adults never want to take accountability for their actions, especially Diplomats with kids. Being a diplomat comes with extreme guilt, each parent knows that they put their careers first, and once they hit that 10 year mark, they get tunnel vision, they see that there is no way out, but to try to go further in their career.
The problem with this, is that many diplomatic parents will not allow kids to go through the emotions and help them work through the new environment. Every time we moved, my parents ignored our need to grieve the loss of friends, and the horror show adolescents brought when making new friends. It wasn’t their fault, they were trained by the older generation, that kids were resilient, and that things would adjust itself.
It was my duty as a child to bottle it up. It took working in the same building as my Father to realize kids aren’t resilient, that all the stuff I bottled up, would have to be released at some point, and I would need to heal the wounds I had suffered during the years of growing up abroad.