grief

self implosion

I just never knew that those lessons my Father had been teaching me would end abruptly before my 20th birthday. This is when my world, my only world, was ripped from under me. I was in University for all of 3 weeks, my parents had just been posted back to Ottawa after 3 years of …

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The outsider

Yesterday, I wrote about The Breakdown, this is a sort of continuation. With the last breath, that was it. Our diplomatic lives were yesterday, and now, we had to live for tomorrow. Or that was how I felt at least. My Mother on the other hand, went into full Diplomatic mode. The arranging of my …

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The Breakdown

I came in the door, my Mother looked bug-eyed, her eyes sunken, like she had been hiking in the woods for years and had no sleep or food. Her dressing gown, the silk one, she had from China was tied neatly, her hair birding, like it usually did. It was midnight, the lights were all …

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Fence me In

I am not sure when it set in, or how exactly it happened, but it did. Some time after my Father passed away, I started to stay in. Lead would fill my veins, panic would set in, and the outside world became terrifying. I couldn’t move to even sit outside. I stupidly returned to school …

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Lost

As my world turned black around me, grief stayed at bay for months, or at least that is what I thought (you can read Cancer’s Prey and CANCER bITES) . Tears didn’t come easily, neither did sleep. Since I had suffered from insomnia for years, I didn’t think any differently, I didn’t recognize my slow decline. …

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