What’s Your Name?


I was never one to really think about my future wedding, I wasn’t one who thought about my wedding dress or wedding reception. So when the thought of my wedding loomed over me like a spastic cloud, I gave myself a list and started to research.
Apparently, I was supposed to get my makeup done. Well, that should be easy enough, I had worked at a makeup counter for a while, and knew all of the MAC makeup artists.

I enlisted a talented friend, who had taken 35 years to come out of the closet, who had nothing short of a gift when it came to transforming someone’s “look”.

I went in, coffee in hand, for a consult, and a trial months ahead of my wedding date. I went alone, and was then heading to dress shop with my Mother and Sister.

I sat down, mirror behind me, pallets of colours were displayed all around me, if I hadn’t worked for so long in this environment I would have thought it was intimidating. We chatted and laughed, I sat there for an hour, sore bum and full bladder from all the coffee. I was itching to see what I looked like. I had never spent more than 5 minutes putting on my makeup, I was always too busy, and wanted to head out to play sports or go to work.

My lovely friend grinned, his newly dyed black hair was almost blue under the light, his makeup was flawless, his smile always lit up the room. I was so excited, and so was he.

I turned around my chair, I was startled, I had to look behind me to see who was looking back at me in the mirror. I realized, it was me, but it wasn’t me.

I had no idea what to say or do, until I realized my bladder was about to burst, and I was running late to meet my Mother. I smiled like I was taught, said thank you, and ran to the washroom.

A couple of women were staring at my appearance, I didn’t know what to do. So I ran to meet my Mother and Sister.

When I got to our meeting place, my sister’s mouth dropped, and my Mother burst out laughing.

My Mother asked “What is your name?”

I replied “Mum, stop joking”

she replied with great laughter “Have you picked out your name for your act?”

My sister quietly handed me her little mirror. It was at that point under natural light I realized just how clownish I looked. My friend had transformed my look to what could only be described as drag queen on stage makeup, not for a wedding. I had globs of sparkles, black and pink eyeshadow, fake eyelashes, painted on eyebrows, pink sparkly blush, dark lip liner and fuchsia lips.

I burst into laughter, I had tears rolling down my face it was so funny. The rest of the coffee shop just looked at my strange look, the simple navy dress with pumps and the crazy makeup. I realized at that point, maybe all those things those wedding magazines list as necessities, were not my thing. I love Rupaul, but with my pale complexion, I couldn’t exactly pull off the sparkles, pink and wild eye makeup.


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